Sunday, May 4, 2014

Review- The Quiet Ones

The Quiet Ones (Hammer Productions/Lionsgate, 2014)
Based on a supposedly true story about a college professor and three of his students who try to find a scientific explanation for a girl's psychological abnormalities. All things point to possession or a split personality, and it is this back and forth bait and switch that keeps the viewer guessing in what is an old fashioned looking and feeling, almost paint by numbers Horror flick. There is no gore and almost no CGI to be had, and the goriest scene of the entire film is implied and occurs off screen. Most of the CGI was making the film appear to be old, and to make the experiment seem like it was being filmed with an old fashioned camera.
 Set at Oxford in 1974, everyone seems to chain smoke throughout the entire film. It is almost ridiculous, it is so blatant. The hip Glam Rock bird with the latest fashions, the virile lad with a penchant for playing Cum On Feel The Noize by Slade, the reluctant, conflicted cameraman...these characters are all one dimensional and I could not care less what happened to any of them. I didn't like or dislike any of them, I simply did not care what happened to them. This is a real problem in a film where things boil down to life and death and you are more interested in your pop and popcorn.

Things sort of limped along until I was wishing that I had a watch on to see how much longer the film had to go. I'm not kidding, I wasn't begging for more by the end, I was screaming for mercy.
Junk Food For Thought rating: 2.75 out of 5.

I saw this back-to-back with Amazing Spider-Man 2 on Friday. There were only four people in the entire theatre for this movie, and that includes my brother and I in that count.


  1. So as I'm enjoying Cum On Feel The Noize by Slade on Youtube right now (as I've completely forgotten that they did it first) , I'm wondering where the Spider-man review is?