Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Review- The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods (Lionsgate, 2012)

Joss Whedon has much credibility in nerd circles. His working knowledge of Horror, comic books, and popular culture in general has served him well in every medium he has tackled. He takes this knowledge to it's logical conclusion, or ultimate level of stupidity, depending on your interpretation of the story in this film. I am on the fence myself.

Without giving anything away, The Cabin in the Woods is as much a step forward or backwards as either of the genre's game changers of the last 20 years, Scream and The Blair Witch Project. Unlike the former, which was as much spoof as homage, and the latter, which blessed us with those wonderful shaking camera effects, TCITW redefines as much as it validates the genre and it's cliches. I kind of like it, even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

I almost felt like leaving during the first 20 minutes of the movie. I had thought that I walked into the wrong theatre auditorium during the opening sequence. Then the paper thin characterizations made me feel stupid and too old to be watching a movie like this. Those characterizations, coupled with the idiot Millenials/Gen Y kids behind me who were incessantly talking during the opening sequences, made me feel like I should have put movies like this out to pasture 20 years ago.

This feeling fortunately didn't last long, as things got strange and my constant shushing and dirty looks made the idiot kids behind me shut up. I went and saw this on a Monday night, figuring that nobody would be there. I was right. There were only a dozen people in the theatre counting myself. The problem is that they were all chatty assholes. I have so little patience for the humans any more. They have no social skills or sense of etiquette. While moviegoing is a communal experience, talking has no place once the lights go down. The shared laughs and sounds of people eating popcorn are expected and are part of the ambiance of knowing that you are not alone in this experience. Home video has ruined this, and we are on the second generation of clueless idiots who have grown up in this uncultured era. I weep for my children, and hopefully they will be able to just get movies beamed directly into their brains as adults and not have to have their experience marred by thoughtless people. I am this close to being done with movie theatres. As soon as they offer new releases on demand day of release, I'm out. Screw you humans.

So is this worth full price, the dollar show or a rental? Yes. The when and where all depends on your comfort level with the humans. 

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  1. It's tough to write much of a review of CABIN without giving anything away, isn't it?

    Speaking of chatty kids: I went to see THE HUNGER GAMES for the second time over the weekend. There were two young girls sitting behind me carrying on a constant whispered commentary. At first, it really got on my nerves. But as the movie went on, I kind of started to enjoy it. They were so into the film, and it was fun to hear them react.

    Gotta say that was probably my only good experience with talkative movie guests, though.

  2. Yeah, I did a lot of backspacing and rewriting for TCITW review. It's hard to discuss plot points without blowing it for somebody else. I try to keep things spoiler free, and am always careful to give a spoiler tag if I must discuss specific plot points. So much of TCITW is hard to discuss. I can't talk about points B, C, and D without blowing point A for somebody.

    People are so rude in movie theatres these days. I come from the era before cable even, where the theatre was the only chance to see a film it its pristine, unedited form. My Mom acted like it was religious experience or something sacred, and that has stuck with me. I am, admittedly, a dinosaur on many counts. Maybe I should just start talking and texting during movies too.

    1. It still kind of is a religious experience for me to go to the movies. I will happily watch three movies in a row if I am not busy.